The really, really GOOD news is that my cancer remains bone only! It does not appear to have spread to my lungs, or liver, or any other organ!
Ok…let’s all breathe a huge, collective sigh of relief…
Now, the not-as-good news is that there appear to be some new spots on the bones, and there appears to be some intensifying of some old spots. This is now our focus.
More good news is that my neck looks to be much better as a result of the radiation we did after the last PET scan. However, my hips look to be worse, especially the right one. I will have an MRI of my pelvis done on Monday and I’ll get the results of that on Thursday with the radiation oncologist, Dr. Schulz. He will determine if radiation is warranted at this time.
I’m going to start seeing Dr. Kumar on a monthly basis to track things more closely. If, for example, my number jumps to a 300 in February we probably won’t change things too dramatically. If the number jumps to a 600, we may have to proceed to our next option. It’s more about the number trends than the actual numbers. When I asked what this number caps out at, he said he has a woman who is at 2800! It’s all so mind boggling.
There are some other hormonal options to pursue, and some we can even revisit. There may be another biopsy involved, if the numbers do keep going up, to confirm the hormonal receptivity of the cancer. Strangely enough, that is a factor that can change.
I guess our biggest challenge is learning how to deal with a chronic disease. While we feel like we just have to sit back and wait, we don’t know what we’re waiting for. So that mindset no longer works, or applies here. It isn’t a matter of ‘doing’ or ‘not doing.’ It’s a matter of accepting that this cancer is here to stay.
Our goal will always be to preserve quality of life for as long as possible. Without new symptoms there’s no reason to jump the gun and fear the worst…which is definitely what I was doing this whole week. I’m sorry if I dragged all of you along on the fear train! BUT…by telling you of my concerns and making you aware of what was going on, it started those prayer chains a rollin’, and you can’t tell me that didn’t play a role in today’s good news!
I’ve said it before and I will continue to say it…I couldn’t get through all of this without the prayers, love and support of all of you! THANK YOU from deep within my bones.
Friday, January 27, 2006
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
FYI
I have an appointment with Dr K on Friday at 2:30 to get my scan results. We're VERY thankful for this so we won't have to fret and make ourselves crazy all weekend long!
I'll try to blog as soon after that as possible so all of you have the results as well.
As a point of reference: the last PET scan I had was in June of 2004. It was at that time that we learned the cancer was in my bones. But we had to do an MRI of the "hot spots" to determine the extent of the cancer and verify it was for sure in the bones at those locations, not the tissue or any organs. What this means is that after the PET scan there could likely be another scan scheduled to get more specific information of any problem areas.
I'm doing pretty good today. Keeping very busy here at work, which helps. I'm a little worried about Brian. Say some extra prayers for him please! I haven't mentioned any of this to Dominic yet. I'll wait until at least Friday afternoon when we'll maybe know a little more. Why should his 15-yr-old brain have to toss this around all week?!
Wishing all of YOU peace!! I have a better idea what it's like for you guys to feel pretty helpless in trying to help me now that I have those same feelings about Dave. Thanks for sticking with me!!
Love to all
I'll try to blog as soon after that as possible so all of you have the results as well.
As a point of reference: the last PET scan I had was in June of 2004. It was at that time that we learned the cancer was in my bones. But we had to do an MRI of the "hot spots" to determine the extent of the cancer and verify it was for sure in the bones at those locations, not the tissue or any organs. What this means is that after the PET scan there could likely be another scan scheduled to get more specific information of any problem areas.
I'm doing pretty good today. Keeping very busy here at work, which helps. I'm a little worried about Brian. Say some extra prayers for him please! I haven't mentioned any of this to Dominic yet. I'll wait until at least Friday afternoon when we'll maybe know a little more. Why should his 15-yr-old brain have to toss this around all week?!
Wishing all of YOU peace!! I have a better idea what it's like for you guys to feel pretty helpless in trying to help me now that I have those same feelings about Dave. Thanks for sticking with me!!
Love to all
Monday, January 23, 2006
Spiked!
Not a football in the end zone…
Not my hair…
Not the punch (although a drink right now sounds pretty good!)…
No, I’m referring to my tumor marker number. Spiked…upward…largely…badly…
I’m now looking at a 290.9. That’s more than double what it was three months ago.
We’re going to do a PET scan on Thursday afternoon to find the hot spots. The indication is that the “activity” we saw on the bone scan in November was not significant enough to believe that’s what’s causing this elevation in the numbers. We’re going to (hopefully) confirm that things have not spread elsewhere in my body.
I got the number at about 9:00 this morning but was waiting to blog until after the nurse spoke with Dr. K. She just now called, at 3:15.
I’ve been dreading typing this up all day. I HATE to put this out there for my family to read. There’s enough going on already with Dave starting his chemo on Wednesday!! I’m sorry. I tried to be unselfish and hold off until after we see the scan results, but I just couldn’t. I need the prayer chains in motion asap. And too many of you knew I was getting results today, so if the phone started ringing I would have had to start telling all of you anyway. No news should be good news, and this would not have been good news to throw at you later, rather than sooner.
I’m really glad I didn’t call from Vegas to get my number. That would have sucked all of the fun right out of our time away.
I will keep you posted…
Not my hair…
Not the punch (although a drink right now sounds pretty good!)…
No, I’m referring to my tumor marker number. Spiked…upward…largely…badly…
I’m now looking at a 290.9. That’s more than double what it was three months ago.
We’re going to do a PET scan on Thursday afternoon to find the hot spots. The indication is that the “activity” we saw on the bone scan in November was not significant enough to believe that’s what’s causing this elevation in the numbers. We’re going to (hopefully) confirm that things have not spread elsewhere in my body.
I got the number at about 9:00 this morning but was waiting to blog until after the nurse spoke with Dr. K. She just now called, at 3:15.
I’ve been dreading typing this up all day. I HATE to put this out there for my family to read. There’s enough going on already with Dave starting his chemo on Wednesday!! I’m sorry. I tried to be unselfish and hold off until after we see the scan results, but I just couldn’t. I need the prayer chains in motion asap. And too many of you knew I was getting results today, so if the phone started ringing I would have had to start telling all of you anyway. No news should be good news, and this would not have been good news to throw at you later, rather than sooner.
I’m really glad I didn’t call from Vegas to get my number. That would have sucked all of the fun right out of our time away.
I will keep you posted…
Friday, January 13, 2006
Am I Pink
What a difference a week makes! I AM pink! Pink as in healthy; pink as in my 'survivor' color; pink as in my cheeks are pink (not my peeks are chink, it's a little early in the day for that).
I look back at where I was last Friday and can't believe what opposite ends of the spectrum I am at. I haven't been that low in a very, very long time! But...the flu seems to have been good for me. Not only did it give me a thorough flushing physically, but I seem to have been flushed out mentally and emotionally as well. I felt great this whole week. I have renewed positive energy and attitude and laughter. I don't feel like I'm dragging around a pack on my back.
I didn't realize it until the other day, but I think I've been loaded down with negative baggage ever since my bone scan. I honestly think that in the back of my mind I was focusing on the cancer "activity" in my hip and shoulder blade. I became overly cautious and worrisome about what I should and shouldn't be doing. Enough of that! Now that I realize what I was doing to jeopardize my own mood I can toss it aside and feel light and ready to roll into this brand new year!
Wednesday, 1/11, was NOT a shithouse. It was a great day! I had lunch with 9 wonderful women. I took chocolates to the VLCC as a thank you to them for making my 5-year Cancer Survivor anniversary possible. I took a deep breath, thanked God for all the many, many supporters I have, and vowed to celebrate even bigger on my 10-year anniversary!
Reports on my brother, Dave, have been very promising. The cancer is contained to his neck and chest, which is good. No spreading to other organs or distant body parts. He'll finish up with a few more tests next week and then the chemo will commence. From what I can tell at this distance, he has the right attitude and should come through all of this just fine. Please keep him in your prayers!
Offer up some extra prayers for me too, please, for next week's appointment. We'll do another blood draw and have high hopes that my tumor marker number has come down.
Happy Friday the 13th!
Off to get my hairs cut...
I look back at where I was last Friday and can't believe what opposite ends of the spectrum I am at. I haven't been that low in a very, very long time! But...the flu seems to have been good for me. Not only did it give me a thorough flushing physically, but I seem to have been flushed out mentally and emotionally as well. I felt great this whole week. I have renewed positive energy and attitude and laughter. I don't feel like I'm dragging around a pack on my back.
I didn't realize it until the other day, but I think I've been loaded down with negative baggage ever since my bone scan. I honestly think that in the back of my mind I was focusing on the cancer "activity" in my hip and shoulder blade. I became overly cautious and worrisome about what I should and shouldn't be doing. Enough of that! Now that I realize what I was doing to jeopardize my own mood I can toss it aside and feel light and ready to roll into this brand new year!
Wednesday, 1/11, was NOT a shithouse. It was a great day! I had lunch with 9 wonderful women. I took chocolates to the VLCC as a thank you to them for making my 5-year Cancer Survivor anniversary possible. I took a deep breath, thanked God for all the many, many supporters I have, and vowed to celebrate even bigger on my 10-year anniversary!
Reports on my brother, Dave, have been very promising. The cancer is contained to his neck and chest, which is good. No spreading to other organs or distant body parts. He'll finish up with a few more tests next week and then the chemo will commence. From what I can tell at this distance, he has the right attitude and should come through all of this just fine. Please keep him in your prayers!
Offer up some extra prayers for me too, please, for next week's appointment. We'll do another blood draw and have high hopes that my tumor marker number has come down.
Happy Friday the 13th!
Off to get my hairs cut...
Friday, January 06, 2006
Am I Blue
Not a question, more of a statement.
And I am blue. Really blue. Sadly, pathetically, deep down, no sign of "wonder woman" here, blue.
Still home with the flu, although feeling quite a bit better, as far as that goes. Brian left to go up by the Ludens to snowmobile and Dominic is overnight at a friend's house. So I'm sitting here feeling really lonely, and feeling a little sorry for myself. I'm sure I just need a good night's sleep. But I've slept so much the past few days and watched far too much mindless tv, it's just plain sad.
I hate these breakdowns because they make me feel so weak. And, of course, they generally hit when I'm not feeling so good physically, so my defenses are down.
Three days to get over the flu is just ridiculous. I have things to do with my life and I can't just waste away three whole days like this. It makes me feel cheated of 'time.'
The house is too quiet. I need to go call someone now before I go a little crazy. I hope I can find one of you home on a Friday night!!
And I am blue. Really blue. Sadly, pathetically, deep down, no sign of "wonder woman" here, blue.
Still home with the flu, although feeling quite a bit better, as far as that goes. Brian left to go up by the Ludens to snowmobile and Dominic is overnight at a friend's house. So I'm sitting here feeling really lonely, and feeling a little sorry for myself. I'm sure I just need a good night's sleep. But I've slept so much the past few days and watched far too much mindless tv, it's just plain sad.
I hate these breakdowns because they make me feel so weak. And, of course, they generally hit when I'm not feeling so good physically, so my defenses are down.
Three days to get over the flu is just ridiculous. I have things to do with my life and I can't just waste away three whole days like this. It makes me feel cheated of 'time.'
The house is too quiet. I need to go call someone now before I go a little crazy. I hope I can find one of you home on a Friday night!!
Sunday, January 01, 2006
Sh!thouse
111 --- My mother-in-law taught me that a 111 in bowling is called a “shithouse.” I have learned, over the course of time, that that number applies to other pretty lousy things. For example: 1/11 (2001) I received my initial diagnosis of breast cancer. Now, on 1/11 (2006) my youngest brother, Dave, will travel to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester to have some tests done. You see, Dave and his wife, Kate, received one of the worst possible Christmas “gifts” this year. Dave has been diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Disease.
As a result of this heart-wrenching news, we have added a fourth member to the “Breiter Cancer Survivor Group.” But we welcome him with open arms! And SURVIVORS are what we truly are!! The initiation procedure really sucks, but once you get past that, it’s a good group with which to belong. (And my brother, Jerry, told Dave we serve cookies. Hmmm…I must have missed those meetings.)
The Hodgkin’s is a certain diagnosis. The testing to be done at Mayo is to re-confirm the course of treatment. There will be various scans, blood tests, etc. performed over these next couple of weeks. Chemo will most likely begin the week of 1/17 or 1/23.
My wish/hope/prayer is that this experience will really become a “gift” for Dave. There are many ways to face and cope with a cancer diagnosis. There are many ways to get through the situation. Maybe, down the road, he’ll be able to look back upon these next several months and find that some further good has come into his life as a result of this “bump in the road.”
Dave’s wife, Kate, is a strong woman. She has proven that time and time again. For those of you who haven’t made the connection, these two are parents to Mighty Mark, and Baby Joe. (Happy Birthday Marky…born 7 years ago today at 1 pound, 7 ounces, he will forever be our new year’s miracle!!!) So, you see, Dave has a great support system right under his own roof. Kate is there by his side, and his two adorable, funny, lively children will help to keep the smiles coming.
My very wise father hit the nail on the head when he made the observation that ‘it seems to be easier to have the cancer than to have a loved one be diagnosed with cancer.’ This situation is very difficult for me to come to terms with. It’s not fair to Dave. It’s not fair to his family, or our family as a whole. BUT…fair or not, we are SURVIVORS and I will do everything I can to help Dave and Kate get through these trying times.
You know what to do! And you, obviously, know how to do it incredibly well! Please get those prayers heaven sent. They can only help to make a lousy situation a little bit more tolerable.
I wish you and yours HEALTH in 2006!
As a result of this heart-wrenching news, we have added a fourth member to the “Breiter Cancer Survivor Group.” But we welcome him with open arms! And SURVIVORS are what we truly are!! The initiation procedure really sucks, but once you get past that, it’s a good group with which to belong. (And my brother, Jerry, told Dave we serve cookies. Hmmm…I must have missed those meetings.)
The Hodgkin’s is a certain diagnosis. The testing to be done at Mayo is to re-confirm the course of treatment. There will be various scans, blood tests, etc. performed over these next couple of weeks. Chemo will most likely begin the week of 1/17 or 1/23.
My wish/hope/prayer is that this experience will really become a “gift” for Dave. There are many ways to face and cope with a cancer diagnosis. There are many ways to get through the situation. Maybe, down the road, he’ll be able to look back upon these next several months and find that some further good has come into his life as a result of this “bump in the road.”
Dave’s wife, Kate, is a strong woman. She has proven that time and time again. For those of you who haven’t made the connection, these two are parents to Mighty Mark, and Baby Joe. (Happy Birthday Marky…born 7 years ago today at 1 pound, 7 ounces, he will forever be our new year’s miracle!!!) So, you see, Dave has a great support system right under his own roof. Kate is there by his side, and his two adorable, funny, lively children will help to keep the smiles coming.
My very wise father hit the nail on the head when he made the observation that ‘it seems to be easier to have the cancer than to have a loved one be diagnosed with cancer.’ This situation is very difficult for me to come to terms with. It’s not fair to Dave. It’s not fair to his family, or our family as a whole. BUT…fair or not, we are SURVIVORS and I will do everything I can to help Dave and Kate get through these trying times.
You know what to do! And you, obviously, know how to do it incredibly well! Please get those prayers heaven sent. They can only help to make a lousy situation a little bit more tolerable.
I wish you and yours HEALTH in 2006!
Sunday, December 18, 2005
Merry Christmas
There...I said it and I meant it! Merry Christmas!! If you're offended by that then you needn't bother to return to my blog. I don't say it to offend or to put off anyone. I wish everyone very happy holidays, whatever holiday you choose to celebrate (or not). But I happen to celebrate Christmas, and so my wish is that everyone celebrating this particular holiday will have a most blessed Christmas season. I LOVE this time of year!
What a week this has been...! On Tuesday night Dominic and I went to the Lenny Kravitz/Aerosmith concert. It was awesome, to say the least. We had such a great time. The music was wonderful, the lights were amazing, the energy was unbelievable and contagious. We "rocked out" 'til I think I broke my rocker. My body ached for two days after...or more.
And two days after the concert I had my 41st birthday. So are the aches from age, cancer, bad shoes, or a combination of all of these? With this type of question it's usually safest to go with the 'D' option: all of the above. But it was all soooo worth it! Would I see a concert again with my teenage son? Absolutely!!
I thank all of you for your sweet birthday well-wishing. The cards and emails and phone calls are always greatly appreciated and make me feel special. I had a very good day at work, thanks to the flower delivery man, my friends and co-workers, lunch with Deb, and emails from friends and family in multiple states. Unfortunately, by the time I got home from work I was feeling fairly crummy and spent the evening on the couch under a blanket. Poor Brian and Dominic had hotdogs for supper and I had saltines. We didn't even cut the birthday pie (oh my gosh! and we still haven't!!). So while it wasn't the way I would have chosen to spend my birthday night, it was still a very good day. Thank you!
Last night was Brian's company party and tonight is my company party. So this morning/afternoon I'm laying low and taking it easy. I don't like that I get so tired and achey so easily anymore. But that's the way it is, and I realize I'm quite fortunate in that it could be a whole hekuva lot worse.
This Wednesday brings another infusion and injection. If any of you are ever interested in stopping in while I’m hooked up at the VLCC, please do so. What a super surprise that would be! (this week my appt is at 1:00) Sometimes I like to just sit there and read or watch TV or veg. Other times I spend that 1+ hour reflecting on the cancer. And sometimes I wish I had someone there to keep me company. I realize it’s tough to find an hour in a week to, literally, just sit. But if you’re ever so inclined you would be most welcomed by me, the nurses and the staff.
I guess that’s all I have for today; other than to request your continuing prayers for me, more prayers for Mary Jo (who seems to be handling the chemo pretty well, but now messed up her back), and for my sister-in-law, Bert, and her family who suffered a very sad loss recently. I think most of you know that I am a firm believer in the power of prayer. Keep up the good work!
And MERRY CHRISTMAS!!
What a week this has been...! On Tuesday night Dominic and I went to the Lenny Kravitz/Aerosmith concert. It was awesome, to say the least. We had such a great time. The music was wonderful, the lights were amazing, the energy was unbelievable and contagious. We "rocked out" 'til I think I broke my rocker. My body ached for two days after...or more.
And two days after the concert I had my 41st birthday. So are the aches from age, cancer, bad shoes, or a combination of all of these? With this type of question it's usually safest to go with the 'D' option: all of the above. But it was all soooo worth it! Would I see a concert again with my teenage son? Absolutely!!
I thank all of you for your sweet birthday well-wishing. The cards and emails and phone calls are always greatly appreciated and make me feel special. I had a very good day at work, thanks to the flower delivery man, my friends and co-workers, lunch with Deb, and emails from friends and family in multiple states. Unfortunately, by the time I got home from work I was feeling fairly crummy and spent the evening on the couch under a blanket. Poor Brian and Dominic had hotdogs for supper and I had saltines. We didn't even cut the birthday pie (oh my gosh! and we still haven't!!). So while it wasn't the way I would have chosen to spend my birthday night, it was still a very good day. Thank you!
Last night was Brian's company party and tonight is my company party. So this morning/afternoon I'm laying low and taking it easy. I don't like that I get so tired and achey so easily anymore. But that's the way it is, and I realize I'm quite fortunate in that it could be a whole hekuva lot worse.
This Wednesday brings another infusion and injection. If any of you are ever interested in stopping in while I’m hooked up at the VLCC, please do so. What a super surprise that would be! (this week my appt is at 1:00) Sometimes I like to just sit there and read or watch TV or veg. Other times I spend that 1+ hour reflecting on the cancer. And sometimes I wish I had someone there to keep me company. I realize it’s tough to find an hour in a week to, literally, just sit. But if you’re ever so inclined you would be most welcomed by me, the nurses and the staff.
I guess that’s all I have for today; other than to request your continuing prayers for me, more prayers for Mary Jo (who seems to be handling the chemo pretty well, but now messed up her back), and for my sister-in-law, Bert, and her family who suffered a very sad loss recently. I think most of you know that I am a firm believer in the power of prayer. Keep up the good work!
And MERRY CHRISTMAS!!
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
HOPE
This beautiful and inspiring poem was forwarded to me by my sister, Sue. I've never seen it before and had to share. The last line, in particular, brings all of us together. That's the strength of hope...sharing it with others!
Do you know what hope is? It's magic and it's free.
It's not in a prescription. It's not in an IV.
It punctuates our laughter. It sparkles in our tears.
It simmers under sorrows. It dissipates our fears.
Do you know what hope is? It's reaching past today.
It's dreaming of tomorrow. It's trying a new way.
It's pushing past impossible. It's pounding on the door.
It's questioning the answer. It's always seeking more.
It's rumors of a break. It's whispers of a cure.
A roller coaster ride. Of remedies, unsure.
Do you know what hope is? It's candy for the soul.
It's perfume for the spirit. To share it makes you whole.
Take my hand...come... Let's share this hope...together...
Do you know what hope is? It's magic and it's free.
It's not in a prescription. It's not in an IV.
It punctuates our laughter. It sparkles in our tears.
It simmers under sorrows. It dissipates our fears.
Do you know what hope is? It's reaching past today.
It's dreaming of tomorrow. It's trying a new way.
It's pushing past impossible. It's pounding on the door.
It's questioning the answer. It's always seeking more.
It's rumors of a break. It's whispers of a cure.
A roller coaster ride. Of remedies, unsure.
Do you know what hope is? It's candy for the soul.
It's perfume for the spirit. To share it makes you whole.
Take my hand...come... Let's share this hope...together...
No Longer Queasy
I feel a hundred times better this morning than I did yesterday at this time! In fact, all morning long, yesterday, I had this rolling stomach from nerves. Brian said his was the same. I didn't eat a thing until after the appointment when Brian and I went to lunch. It was sort of like a "de-briefing" lunch. Not only did I want to be sure that we both heard things the same way, but I needed to show him the written report so he's aware of the points that Dr. Kumar did not touch on. The report summation emphasizes the right pelvis and scapula as I mentioned yesterday. Those are the areas with the greatest amount of activity.
The report also mentions those areas of my spine that we knew about from last year's scans. The good news is that they're described as only "small and moderately intense." The one item that keeps jumping off this sheet of paper, though, is "mild heterogeneity seen through the skull." We've never talked about my skull. Sure, we did MRIs of my brain, but nothing was ever found. It's kind of a passing comment within the report and it is not mentioned again in the summary. Should I be concerned? Dr. K doesn't seem to think so. In fact, overall, he's pleased with the results. And so are Brian and I.
BUT...as is always the case after these appointments...I am still worried. In time, that worry will fade until it's time to see Dr. K again, in January, and then it will flare up again. He assures us that there's no need to worry at this point. That things are behaving about the way he would expect them to. And I realize that we aren't just sitting around doing nothing. We're continuing with the bone strengthener infusions and we're still administering the injections. But it feels so "inactive."
I was thrilled to hear my friend, KB, say yesterday what I always feel. "It would almost be better to get some bad news that we can react to, than to just have to wait." Some of you are going to have a hard time wrapping your minds around that one. But here's the thing...chemo is perceived as a killer of cancer. If, by undergoing chemo, we can start to kill off these nasty cancer cells, what are we waiting for?? That, to me, is an extremely active approach! Bad news might move us to a new level where we can sit up and DO something.
Thankfully Dr. K is always there to remind me that avoiding chemo as long as possible is key. It isn't the miracle yet that it may become some day. Chemo this time around won't be like the last time. It will be more intense. It will have a longer recovery time. And, I suppose, it's a sign that while "the end" is still a long way off (and that's a relative term, to be sure), you can begin to see it coming over the horizon.
Like I said...I feel a hundred times better today than yesterday. And already my worries are beginning to fade. But it remains a frustrating situation. I've mostly come to terms with that, but the waiting is difficult on some days. Waiting to see what these injections can do is my primary "action" right now.
With Thanksgiving just around the corner (can you believe that?!?) it is an obvious time to say thank you to all of you who take the precious moments out of your day to check in here and see how I'm doing. Thank you to all of you who say your prayers on my behalf. Thank you to those of you who reply here, send an email or call to let me know that you have checked in. Thank you for being the best family and friends by whom anyone in my situation could hope to be surrounded!!
The report also mentions those areas of my spine that we knew about from last year's scans. The good news is that they're described as only "small and moderately intense." The one item that keeps jumping off this sheet of paper, though, is "mild heterogeneity seen through the skull." We've never talked about my skull. Sure, we did MRIs of my brain, but nothing was ever found. It's kind of a passing comment within the report and it is not mentioned again in the summary. Should I be concerned? Dr. K doesn't seem to think so. In fact, overall, he's pleased with the results. And so are Brian and I.
BUT...as is always the case after these appointments...I am still worried. In time, that worry will fade until it's time to see Dr. K again, in January, and then it will flare up again. He assures us that there's no need to worry at this point. That things are behaving about the way he would expect them to. And I realize that we aren't just sitting around doing nothing. We're continuing with the bone strengthener infusions and we're still administering the injections. But it feels so "inactive."
I was thrilled to hear my friend, KB, say yesterday what I always feel. "It would almost be better to get some bad news that we can react to, than to just have to wait." Some of you are going to have a hard time wrapping your minds around that one. But here's the thing...chemo is perceived as a killer of cancer. If, by undergoing chemo, we can start to kill off these nasty cancer cells, what are we waiting for?? That, to me, is an extremely active approach! Bad news might move us to a new level where we can sit up and DO something.
Thankfully Dr. K is always there to remind me that avoiding chemo as long as possible is key. It isn't the miracle yet that it may become some day. Chemo this time around won't be like the last time. It will be more intense. It will have a longer recovery time. And, I suppose, it's a sign that while "the end" is still a long way off (and that's a relative term, to be sure), you can begin to see it coming over the horizon.
Like I said...I feel a hundred times better today than yesterday. And already my worries are beginning to fade. But it remains a frustrating situation. I've mostly come to terms with that, but the waiting is difficult on some days. Waiting to see what these injections can do is my primary "action" right now.
With Thanksgiving just around the corner (can you believe that?!?) it is an obvious time to say thank you to all of you who take the precious moments out of your day to check in here and see how I'm doing. Thank you to all of you who say your prayers on my behalf. Thank you to those of you who reply here, send an email or call to let me know that you have checked in. Thank you for being the best family and friends by whom anyone in my situation could hope to be surrounded!!
Monday, November 14, 2005
What Do We Know?
I have to keep this brief, but wanted to at least post the basics for right now.
For the most part, what we learned today was "good news." In fact, it was better than I was expecting. So that much is a relief.
My neck appears to be about the same, but there are spots on my shoulder blades that were there before, but are more pronounced now. My right hip has some "increased activity."
Still too early to know what the injections are doing for me. We'll check numbers again in January. If there's an increase to 200 or so, then we'll schedule another type of scan at that time.
For now, we continue on as we have. I'll take over-the-counter pain relievers as needed, which are still 'working' for me to relieve the discomfort.
I received a copy of the report as it was dictated and have some words I need to look up yet...like "heterogeneity"
That's the scientific side of things. Back to work now. Will post more later on what this means to me, mentally and emotionally.
THANK YOU for all of the prayers and good vibes!
For the most part, what we learned today was "good news." In fact, it was better than I was expecting. So that much is a relief.
My neck appears to be about the same, but there are spots on my shoulder blades that were there before, but are more pronounced now. My right hip has some "increased activity."
Still too early to know what the injections are doing for me. We'll check numbers again in January. If there's an increase to 200 or so, then we'll schedule another type of scan at that time.
For now, we continue on as we have. I'll take over-the-counter pain relievers as needed, which are still 'working' for me to relieve the discomfort.
I received a copy of the report as it was dictated and have some words I need to look up yet...like "heterogeneity"
That's the scientific side of things. Back to work now. Will post more later on what this means to me, mentally and emotionally.
THANK YOU for all of the prayers and good vibes!
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Just a Quick Note...
The scan was very easy today. No pain, no noise, quick. They gave me a sneak preview, and all I know for sure is that there weren't black spots all over my body, which is a good, good thing!! No way I could interpret anything else though. I have no idea how to read an x-ray. We did do an extra pinpoint view of my neck/thyroid since it still shows up as the darkest area.
My follow-up appointment with Dr. Kumar is Monday morning at 11:30.
Tune in after that for results...
In the mean time, keep those positive vibes coming my way. (And send some out for Mary Jo, also, who will have her lumpectomy on Friday.)
My follow-up appointment with Dr. Kumar is Monday morning at 11:30.
Tune in after that for results...
In the mean time, keep those positive vibes coming my way. (And send some out for Mary Jo, also, who will have her lumpectomy on Friday.)
Monday, October 31, 2005
Where has the time gone?!
I must apologize. I've been meaning to enter a blog. Each day I think to myself "I better get on there and blog!" but it just hasn't happened. Now I look at the date on my last post and can't believe all the time that has gone by. So I apologize to those of you who keep checking in and finding nothing.
My oh my...what has all been going on these past (almost) two months?
I did eventually recover from all the fun and many steps in New York City! Then on October 22nd I put on some more steps and walked in the Cancer Walk at Road America. I had some doubts as to whether or not I would be able to complete the walk this year. But I DID!! It was cold and rainy and a rather unpleasant day...but surrounded by the warmth of friends and family, and with walking stick in hand from this summer's Rally For A Cure, I walked the walk and climbed the hills and fought my way to the end. It was, literally, a pain in my neck (and hips)but it was well worth it. What a great sense of accomplishment. THANK YOU to my fellow walkers!! There were approximately 1900 walkers out there, including 'my' team of TEN! THANK YOU to all of you who sponsored me. I was able to raise $820 myself!!
Today was such a MONDAY!! Grrrrr.... Dominic had a great weekend in Minnesota (helping Joe paint and move, and visiting the U of M campus in Minneapolis) but he came home coughing even more than when he left. So I did a lot of running around getting him in to see the doctor. Our fear was another bout of pneumonia but, thankfully, it's "only" bronchitis and an ear infection. He sounds like he's coughing up a lung though. THREE prescriptions later, he was back in school and I was back to work.
It was also a MONDAY because I called to check on my tumor marker number from last week's blood draw. Now, Dr K warned us that the number would probably still be going up because the injections haven't had long enough to really do their thing yet in my system. The recommended course of treatment is to get a double dose of the injection the first time. But it's very expensive and the insurance companies won't ever approve it. How stupid is that!?! I had a number like maybe 105 in my head. But it came back as a 139 instead. That's a new high for me. It sucks. Are the injections doing what they need to be doing? We still won't know for a couple of months maybe. But we already had a bone scan scheduled for next Wednesday, so that should give us some answers...again, maybe. Another thing that Dr K was good to warn us about is the fact that, now that the Zometa has been in my system for over a year, it may highlight some cancer spots that we haven't known about before and these could show up with this updated scan. Some spots may be new, some may have been there a year ago but we couldn't see them.
It was dark when I left work. But, surprising even to me, the temp was fairly tolerable and the lights were kind of pretty. I intentionally drove down 25th Street, as I've come to do every Halloween now. I love to see all of the kids, and many of the adults, all dressed up in their costumes and going house to house for their treats. It made me smile! I told Brian, it's the one day of the year that I wished we lived in town. BUT...we had a record number of trick-or-treaters at our house tonight. It was fun!
I'm certain there were many, many events that happened since I last blogged, including a visit to Mankato, and visits from Mankatoans here. I feel badly that I didn't blog those things. I'll try to do better!
When you're saying your prayers, please throw in an extra one for Mary Jo, who recently found out she has breast cancer. And include her family in those prayers as well. I often think that the worst part of this journey is the first month or two when you feel as though you're drowning in a sea of information that can't possibly apply to you. When the shock/denial/disbelief wear off, you start to face the reality. It's at that point that you embrace this new chapter in your life and boldly wear your new title of SURVIVOR!
One last, kind of important thing. I found out that I was wrong about something. I don't know if I was given misinformation last summer, or if I just heard wrong. But...my cancer is not HER2neu positive. The Herceptin that has been in the news does NOT apply to me and would not benefit me. That's, actually, a good thing. HER2neu positive means it's a very aggressive cancer, and mine seems to be aggressive enough, thank you very much. Plus there can be some serious, nasty side effects associated with the Herceptin (like congestive heart failure!). That is all...
My oh my...what has all been going on these past (almost) two months?
I did eventually recover from all the fun and many steps in New York City! Then on October 22nd I put on some more steps and walked in the Cancer Walk at Road America. I had some doubts as to whether or not I would be able to complete the walk this year. But I DID!! It was cold and rainy and a rather unpleasant day...but surrounded by the warmth of friends and family, and with walking stick in hand from this summer's Rally For A Cure, I walked the walk and climbed the hills and fought my way to the end. It was, literally, a pain in my neck (and hips)but it was well worth it. What a great sense of accomplishment. THANK YOU to my fellow walkers!! There were approximately 1900 walkers out there, including 'my' team of TEN! THANK YOU to all of you who sponsored me. I was able to raise $820 myself!!
Today was such a MONDAY!! Grrrrr.... Dominic had a great weekend in Minnesota (helping Joe paint and move, and visiting the U of M campus in Minneapolis) but he came home coughing even more than when he left. So I did a lot of running around getting him in to see the doctor. Our fear was another bout of pneumonia but, thankfully, it's "only" bronchitis and an ear infection. He sounds like he's coughing up a lung though. THREE prescriptions later, he was back in school and I was back to work.
It was also a MONDAY because I called to check on my tumor marker number from last week's blood draw. Now, Dr K warned us that the number would probably still be going up because the injections haven't had long enough to really do their thing yet in my system. The recommended course of treatment is to get a double dose of the injection the first time. But it's very expensive and the insurance companies won't ever approve it. How stupid is that!?! I had a number like maybe 105 in my head. But it came back as a 139 instead. That's a new high for me. It sucks. Are the injections doing what they need to be doing? We still won't know for a couple of months maybe. But we already had a bone scan scheduled for next Wednesday, so that should give us some answers...again, maybe. Another thing that Dr K was good to warn us about is the fact that, now that the Zometa has been in my system for over a year, it may highlight some cancer spots that we haven't known about before and these could show up with this updated scan. Some spots may be new, some may have been there a year ago but we couldn't see them.
It was dark when I left work. But, surprising even to me, the temp was fairly tolerable and the lights were kind of pretty. I intentionally drove down 25th Street, as I've come to do every Halloween now. I love to see all of the kids, and many of the adults, all dressed up in their costumes and going house to house for their treats. It made me smile! I told Brian, it's the one day of the year that I wished we lived in town. BUT...we had a record number of trick-or-treaters at our house tonight. It was fun!
I'm certain there were many, many events that happened since I last blogged, including a visit to Mankato, and visits from Mankatoans here. I feel badly that I didn't blog those things. I'll try to do better!
When you're saying your prayers, please throw in an extra one for Mary Jo, who recently found out she has breast cancer. And include her family in those prayers as well. I often think that the worst part of this journey is the first month or two when you feel as though you're drowning in a sea of information that can't possibly apply to you. When the shock/denial/disbelief wear off, you start to face the reality. It's at that point that you embrace this new chapter in your life and boldly wear your new title of SURVIVOR!
One last, kind of important thing. I found out that I was wrong about something. I don't know if I was given misinformation last summer, or if I just heard wrong. But...my cancer is not HER2neu positive. The Herceptin that has been in the news does NOT apply to me and would not benefit me. That's, actually, a good thing. HER2neu positive means it's a very aggressive cancer, and mine seems to be aggressive enough, thank you very much. Plus there can be some serious, nasty side effects associated with the Herceptin (like congestive heart failure!). That is all...
Thursday, September 08, 2005
And so we continue...
OK...where were we? Ah yes, fighting our way through the festival to get back to Broadway. The sights you see in NYC! It was great though...I love that kind of thing.
Once we caught our breath on Broadway we started hoofing it south. We weren't 100% sure as to how many blocks it was to Macy's, but we figured we could always cab it back if needed. We stopped to grab a cold drink and some lunch at another cute place on one of the side streets. There our 12-year-old looking bartender spoke with a Scottish accent. We came to realize that no one we asked is from New York. Everyone is a transplant from somewhere else. The true melting pot!
Macy's was a zoo! You see, they have what's called "tax free week" around Labor Day weekend every year. It's supposed to be an aid for the back-to-school shoppers. The massive size of the store, aside, there are all these nooks and crannies and levels within the same floor, etc. The bank of elevators were packed non-stop. I kept thinking of a Jerry Lewis movie where there's a mad rush onto and off of the elevators. Everyone is of the belief that you can always fit 'one more' person. The store itself was, in my opinion, run down and old. Escalators weren't working, it smelled musty, and was in serious need of updating. I, honestly, was not impressed. Except for the very nice salesman who helped me with my boot purchase. He was great! Very accomodating and patient and happy. KB was successful in finding things that fit her petite size so it was a worthwhile spree for her.
With an early show time at the comedy club, we started our walk back to the hotel. We actually walked a block or two out of our way to avoid some of the festival crowd. We went to our room and managed to sit down for only five or ten minutes before we had to get ready to go out again. We, fortunately, took the outside crowd into account when planning how long it would take to get back over to Broadway. Our 8-minute walk took us closer to 20 minutes instead.
Caroline's Comedy Club was not exactly what I expected. It's smaller than I envisioned...and it's located completely underground! But what a riot!! We laughed so hard at the host, the two amateurs, and then the headliner. We definitely enjoyed our time there! If only I could remember the jokes --- I'm so bad at that. I just remember laughing A LOT!
Call us crazy, but our post-show dinner was at the Olive Garden, one block down. We just craved their salad and breadsticks so badly! It did not disappoint. And, of course, this being New York City, we HAD to have some cheesecake before we left town. We found a great deli and sat and indulged ourselves. When we walked out the door, satisfied, we came the closest to experiencing any violence on our trip. Policemen were hustling all around and took off running in one direction. Even in NYC everyone stops to look and see if they can find out what's going on. Two of New York's finest came running back and headed down into the Subway. That was it. No idea what the commotion was all about. No idea where they all headed. It was back to "calm" after those few moments.
Walking a different way back to the hotel we happened across Radio City Music Hall, I almost got run down by a speeding cab, and the festival folks were gone...but their nasty mess remained. For whatever reason, there were no extra garbage cans put out for this huge gathering. So all the trash and half-eaten food and cups and wrappers, etc, were just piled up alongside the buildings. Blech! The street sweeper was moving through though, and you could see that progress was being made.
We got up to our room and felt "complete." We had done it! We had survived the city. We had seen all we wanted to see and done all we wanted to do, with the exception of playing cribbage in Central Park. Next time...
Monday morning we woke plenty early, showered, packed up, ate our bagel with cream cheese, and jumped in the cab that happened to be waiting right out front for us. We caught our last glimpses of the city on the way to the airport. Love that skyline!
One more laugh in the city...our cab driver appeared to be from a far eastern country. He said he lives 6 months in NYC and 6 months "over there." We were, obviously, in the back seat, chatting about our adventures and now the trip home. The driver had seemed friendly and was somewhat conversational at the beginning of the ride. We were nearing the airport when he looked in the rearview mirror and asked, in his heavy accent, if KB was my "friend" or my "lady." I laughed!! I said she was my friend and I was going home to my husband. He laughed too. I should have told him he could find himself in a world of hurt if he asked the wrong people that question! LOL It was funny to me because before we ever left I had commented that I wondered if people would think we were a lesbian couple!
Two minutes before we were to board our plane they announced a delay and we ended up on a plane that went to Minneapolis first, and then to Milwaukee. We were fearful our luggage wouldn't follow us. Much to our dismay, it turned out that our original flight left an hour and a half late with some of the original passengers on it. They beat us to Milw, but we had their luggage on OUR flight. Inconvenient for all, but we still got home at a reasonable hour...and I was still able to have supper with my family.
I heart NY! I thought I would, but I heart it even more than I imagined.
BUT...I believe it's a city to which you must travel with the right person. KB and I were incredibly compatable and had the same agenda. It worked out sooo very well for us!
There were a lot of other places that were pointed out to us...homes of stars, TV and movie locations, etc. But I can't give you all the details (even though it would seem like it from the length of this thing).
I decided that this account is as much for me as it is for those of you who are reading it. It's my diary of the memories we made, me and my dear friend, in New York City. I hope it gives you some sense of our experiences. I'm happy to have it all written down to be able to come back to time and time again.
And now, my fatigued body will hopefully do some catching up.
It's good to be home.
It's good to be back where I belong.
It's all good...
Once we caught our breath on Broadway we started hoofing it south. We weren't 100% sure as to how many blocks it was to Macy's, but we figured we could always cab it back if needed. We stopped to grab a cold drink and some lunch at another cute place on one of the side streets. There our 12-year-old looking bartender spoke with a Scottish accent. We came to realize that no one we asked is from New York. Everyone is a transplant from somewhere else. The true melting pot!
Macy's was a zoo! You see, they have what's called "tax free week" around Labor Day weekend every year. It's supposed to be an aid for the back-to-school shoppers. The massive size of the store, aside, there are all these nooks and crannies and levels within the same floor, etc. The bank of elevators were packed non-stop. I kept thinking of a Jerry Lewis movie where there's a mad rush onto and off of the elevators. Everyone is of the belief that you can always fit 'one more' person. The store itself was, in my opinion, run down and old. Escalators weren't working, it smelled musty, and was in serious need of updating. I, honestly, was not impressed. Except for the very nice salesman who helped me with my boot purchase. He was great! Very accomodating and patient and happy. KB was successful in finding things that fit her petite size so it was a worthwhile spree for her.
With an early show time at the comedy club, we started our walk back to the hotel. We actually walked a block or two out of our way to avoid some of the festival crowd. We went to our room and managed to sit down for only five or ten minutes before we had to get ready to go out again. We, fortunately, took the outside crowd into account when planning how long it would take to get back over to Broadway. Our 8-minute walk took us closer to 20 minutes instead.
Caroline's Comedy Club was not exactly what I expected. It's smaller than I envisioned...and it's located completely underground! But what a riot!! We laughed so hard at the host, the two amateurs, and then the headliner. We definitely enjoyed our time there! If only I could remember the jokes --- I'm so bad at that. I just remember laughing A LOT!
Call us crazy, but our post-show dinner was at the Olive Garden, one block down. We just craved their salad and breadsticks so badly! It did not disappoint. And, of course, this being New York City, we HAD to have some cheesecake before we left town. We found a great deli and sat and indulged ourselves. When we walked out the door, satisfied, we came the closest to experiencing any violence on our trip. Policemen were hustling all around and took off running in one direction. Even in NYC everyone stops to look and see if they can find out what's going on. Two of New York's finest came running back and headed down into the Subway. That was it. No idea what the commotion was all about. No idea where they all headed. It was back to "calm" after those few moments.
Walking a different way back to the hotel we happened across Radio City Music Hall, I almost got run down by a speeding cab, and the festival folks were gone...but their nasty mess remained. For whatever reason, there were no extra garbage cans put out for this huge gathering. So all the trash and half-eaten food and cups and wrappers, etc, were just piled up alongside the buildings. Blech! The street sweeper was moving through though, and you could see that progress was being made.
We got up to our room and felt "complete." We had done it! We had survived the city. We had seen all we wanted to see and done all we wanted to do, with the exception of playing cribbage in Central Park. Next time...
Monday morning we woke plenty early, showered, packed up, ate our bagel with cream cheese, and jumped in the cab that happened to be waiting right out front for us. We caught our last glimpses of the city on the way to the airport. Love that skyline!
One more laugh in the city...our cab driver appeared to be from a far eastern country. He said he lives 6 months in NYC and 6 months "over there." We were, obviously, in the back seat, chatting about our adventures and now the trip home. The driver had seemed friendly and was somewhat conversational at the beginning of the ride. We were nearing the airport when he looked in the rearview mirror and asked, in his heavy accent, if KB was my "friend" or my "lady." I laughed!! I said she was my friend and I was going home to my husband. He laughed too. I should have told him he could find himself in a world of hurt if he asked the wrong people that question! LOL It was funny to me because before we ever left I had commented that I wondered if people would think we were a lesbian couple!
Two minutes before we were to board our plane they announced a delay and we ended up on a plane that went to Minneapolis first, and then to Milwaukee. We were fearful our luggage wouldn't follow us. Much to our dismay, it turned out that our original flight left an hour and a half late with some of the original passengers on it. They beat us to Milw, but we had their luggage on OUR flight. Inconvenient for all, but we still got home at a reasonable hour...and I was still able to have supper with my family.
I heart NY! I thought I would, but I heart it even more than I imagined.
BUT...I believe it's a city to which you must travel with the right person. KB and I were incredibly compatable and had the same agenda. It worked out sooo very well for us!
There were a lot of other places that were pointed out to us...homes of stars, TV and movie locations, etc. But I can't give you all the details (even though it would seem like it from the length of this thing).
I decided that this account is as much for me as it is for those of you who are reading it. It's my diary of the memories we made, me and my dear friend, in New York City. I hope it gives you some sense of our experiences. I'm happy to have it all written down to be able to come back to time and time again.
And now, my fatigued body will hopefully do some catching up.
It's good to be home.
It's good to be back where I belong.
It's all good...
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
33,150
Now THERE'S a number to be proud of! That's how many steps KB and I logged on the trusty pedometer on Sunday. We walked miles and miles every day, but Sunday was the record.
New York was FANTASTIC! We loved every minute of our time in the Big Apple. The sights and sounds and languages and buildings and restaurants and stores and people and music and food and lights and...and...and EVERYTHING!!
We ended up flying to NYC on a tiny plane. 12 rows, 2 seats on each side. But, you figure you're flying into a large airport in a huge city, things will be overwhelming from the moment you step off that plane. Boy was that a misconception. We exited the plane, down the steps, right onto the tarmac! At first I thought we were in the wrong place. We grabbed our luggage off a cart and proceeded through a hole/door into an unpleasant stairwell where we had to carry our luggage up a flight of steps into the terminal. Welcome to New York! It was so unexpected that it was just funny.
By the time we caught a shuttle, drove into the city, dropped a few other travelers off and checked into our hotel it was about 11:30pm NY time. I called home to let Brian know we had arrived safely and then it was off to Broadway! We were only 1 1/2 blocks from Times Square. It was a perfect, central location. And extremely well lit, to say the least. WOW! Times Square at midnight on a Thursday is a bustling place. But KB couldn't find anyplace to eat so she grabbed a cheeseburger at McD's! LOL---I never did ask her what she paid for that. We strolled a little way down Broadway and saw the only famous people we would see during our stay. The folks from Entertainment Tonight were doing some filming of some sort so we saw a number of their stars, including "Cojo."
By the time we bought our two drinks each ($34, not including tip!!) we decided it was time to hit the mattresses so we could get moving in the morning. We managed about 4 hours of sleep that night.
I highly, highly recommend the Grayline double-decker bus. We hopped on board and went right to the upper deck. We decided to do the entire downtown loop first and learn all we could about where things were located. It was entertaining and educational and we learned a lot of NY trivia and history. Our tour guide's name was Dominick so we knew he would treat us right. By the time we started going around the second time though, his jokes were getting old and, of course, he was repeating himself. But we hopped off in Greenwich Village and started roaming the streets on foot. By this point in the day it was getting hot (89 degrees) and we were thirsty so we had lunch at the Caliente Cab Co Mexican Cafe, along with a tasty, frozen margarita. It was the perfect answer to our thirst. We were refreshed and ready to carry on! We wandered the streets of Greenwich Village a little longer, but never really found the cute little shops we were in search of.
Our next hop off point was at Ground Zero. We went through St Paul's Chapel where so many of the firefighters found rest and nourishment during the terrible events of 9/11. It was somber and reverent and quite touching. It has become a museum of sorts and really tells the tale of that awful day. The chapel sustained no damage as a result of the Twin Towers coming down. Miraculous! The site of Ground Zero itself is huge and there's much work to be done there yet. But life goes on all around there with many pedestrians and constant traffic.
We walked from there down to Battery Park and saw the Statue of Liberty from a distance. By that time we were wearing down and it was time to head back to our hotel before the tour bus stopped running. We rested briefly, freshened up, and headed over to Broadway for dinner (at Bubba Gump Fish Co.)---but first we stopped and both bought new watches at the Swatch store on Times Square! After dinner we bought a few souveniers and made reservations for Sunday at Caroline's Comedy Club. By the time we hit the hay that night, we had logged 25,550 steps for Friday!
Saturday morning we were back on the tour bus, but this time we were headed in the opposite direction. We toured the upper west side, Harlem, and the upper east side. Gorgeous buildings and churches and museums. It was a little chillier on the upper deck that morning so we grabbed a cup of coffee and got back on the downtown tour bus we had ridden the day before. We hopped off and shopped on the "Ladie's Mile" --- it had to be done! Then we went to SoHo and eventually wandered into Little Italy where we had lunch at an outdoor Italian cafe. It was great fun! We walked and walked some more and finally found a place where we could hop back on the bus.
Now it was time to head back to the hotel again because we had tickets to see Stomp that night at the Orpheum Theatre in the east Village. We decided to be adventurous and take the Subway! So we actually ate at Grand Central Station (Ha!) and then hopped on the train. (Good thing we had enough sense of direction to know the concierge at our hotel had told us to get on the wrong train!!) There was a certain sense of relief when we hit our stop. Not because we felt un-safe, but because we were hoping to get to the right location. We were plenty early for the show and went to this really dim, artsy, cozy bar and restaurant where all the employees were speaking French to each other. Stomp was wonderful!! It was a small theatre and we were in the 3rd row (translation: we were practically sitting on the stage). Amazing show! Because of the late hour, we opted to take a cab back to the hotel. 25,400 steps on Saturday!
Sunday was to be our biggest shopping day. We did shop a lot, but, by NY standards, we bought very little. Stores didn't open until 11 or noon though, so we first went to Central Park and took a horse drawn carriage ride. Our driver's name was Antonio and he was a lot of fun. We picked him because he looked like he had personality. He was singing and dancing on the sidewalk. He also quoted us 6 bucks less than the first, dull guy we asked! Antonio is a 3rd generation driver, he's married off two of his three daughters and he was all too happy to tell us about their suitors. He had a thick Italian accent and made us laugh a lot.
From Central Park we went to Bloomingdales and shook our heads at the outlandish prices on things. We had wandered too far into the store and it literally took us several minutes to find our way back out! We decided to go in the direction of Macy's next. Our hotel was on the way and we were going to drop some things off there. A VERY large Brazilian festival was going on with block after block of stands in the streets selling food and drinks and sunglasses and purses and toys and, you name it, they were selling it. So we shopped in the streets a little bit too. Soooo many people! It was difficult to get into our hotel's front door!
I have more to tell...to be sure...but this is wearing me out all over again! I have to go to bed now. But I promise to continue with the adventures of Carol and KB tomorrow. My apologies, but I'm still worn out from this wonderfully busy trip. (even though I "only" put on 11,250 steps today)
to be continued...
New York was FANTASTIC! We loved every minute of our time in the Big Apple. The sights and sounds and languages and buildings and restaurants and stores and people and music and food and lights and...and...and EVERYTHING!!
We ended up flying to NYC on a tiny plane. 12 rows, 2 seats on each side. But, you figure you're flying into a large airport in a huge city, things will be overwhelming from the moment you step off that plane. Boy was that a misconception. We exited the plane, down the steps, right onto the tarmac! At first I thought we were in the wrong place. We grabbed our luggage off a cart and proceeded through a hole/door into an unpleasant stairwell where we had to carry our luggage up a flight of steps into the terminal. Welcome to New York! It was so unexpected that it was just funny.
By the time we caught a shuttle, drove into the city, dropped a few other travelers off and checked into our hotel it was about 11:30pm NY time. I called home to let Brian know we had arrived safely and then it was off to Broadway! We were only 1 1/2 blocks from Times Square. It was a perfect, central location. And extremely well lit, to say the least. WOW! Times Square at midnight on a Thursday is a bustling place. But KB couldn't find anyplace to eat so she grabbed a cheeseburger at McD's! LOL---I never did ask her what she paid for that. We strolled a little way down Broadway and saw the only famous people we would see during our stay. The folks from Entertainment Tonight were doing some filming of some sort so we saw a number of their stars, including "Cojo."
By the time we bought our two drinks each ($34, not including tip!!) we decided it was time to hit the mattresses so we could get moving in the morning. We managed about 4 hours of sleep that night.
I highly, highly recommend the Grayline double-decker bus. We hopped on board and went right to the upper deck. We decided to do the entire downtown loop first and learn all we could about where things were located. It was entertaining and educational and we learned a lot of NY trivia and history. Our tour guide's name was Dominick so we knew he would treat us right. By the time we started going around the second time though, his jokes were getting old and, of course, he was repeating himself. But we hopped off in Greenwich Village and started roaming the streets on foot. By this point in the day it was getting hot (89 degrees) and we were thirsty so we had lunch at the Caliente Cab Co Mexican Cafe, along with a tasty, frozen margarita. It was the perfect answer to our thirst. We were refreshed and ready to carry on! We wandered the streets of Greenwich Village a little longer, but never really found the cute little shops we were in search of.
Our next hop off point was at Ground Zero. We went through St Paul's Chapel where so many of the firefighters found rest and nourishment during the terrible events of 9/11. It was somber and reverent and quite touching. It has become a museum of sorts and really tells the tale of that awful day. The chapel sustained no damage as a result of the Twin Towers coming down. Miraculous! The site of Ground Zero itself is huge and there's much work to be done there yet. But life goes on all around there with many pedestrians and constant traffic.
We walked from there down to Battery Park and saw the Statue of Liberty from a distance. By that time we were wearing down and it was time to head back to our hotel before the tour bus stopped running. We rested briefly, freshened up, and headed over to Broadway for dinner (at Bubba Gump Fish Co.)---but first we stopped and both bought new watches at the Swatch store on Times Square! After dinner we bought a few souveniers and made reservations for Sunday at Caroline's Comedy Club. By the time we hit the hay that night, we had logged 25,550 steps for Friday!
Saturday morning we were back on the tour bus, but this time we were headed in the opposite direction. We toured the upper west side, Harlem, and the upper east side. Gorgeous buildings and churches and museums. It was a little chillier on the upper deck that morning so we grabbed a cup of coffee and got back on the downtown tour bus we had ridden the day before. We hopped off and shopped on the "Ladie's Mile" --- it had to be done! Then we went to SoHo and eventually wandered into Little Italy where we had lunch at an outdoor Italian cafe. It was great fun! We walked and walked some more and finally found a place where we could hop back on the bus.
Now it was time to head back to the hotel again because we had tickets to see Stomp that night at the Orpheum Theatre in the east Village. We decided to be adventurous and take the Subway! So we actually ate at Grand Central Station (Ha!) and then hopped on the train. (Good thing we had enough sense of direction to know the concierge at our hotel had told us to get on the wrong train!!) There was a certain sense of relief when we hit our stop. Not because we felt un-safe, but because we were hoping to get to the right location. We were plenty early for the show and went to this really dim, artsy, cozy bar and restaurant where all the employees were speaking French to each other. Stomp was wonderful!! It was a small theatre and we were in the 3rd row (translation: we were practically sitting on the stage). Amazing show! Because of the late hour, we opted to take a cab back to the hotel. 25,400 steps on Saturday!
Sunday was to be our biggest shopping day. We did shop a lot, but, by NY standards, we bought very little. Stores didn't open until 11 or noon though, so we first went to Central Park and took a horse drawn carriage ride. Our driver's name was Antonio and he was a lot of fun. We picked him because he looked like he had personality. He was singing and dancing on the sidewalk. He also quoted us 6 bucks less than the first, dull guy we asked! Antonio is a 3rd generation driver, he's married off two of his three daughters and he was all too happy to tell us about their suitors. He had a thick Italian accent and made us laugh a lot.
From Central Park we went to Bloomingdales and shook our heads at the outlandish prices on things. We had wandered too far into the store and it literally took us several minutes to find our way back out! We decided to go in the direction of Macy's next. Our hotel was on the way and we were going to drop some things off there. A VERY large Brazilian festival was going on with block after block of stands in the streets selling food and drinks and sunglasses and purses and toys and, you name it, they were selling it. So we shopped in the streets a little bit too. Soooo many people! It was difficult to get into our hotel's front door!
I have more to tell...to be sure...but this is wearing me out all over again! I have to go to bed now. But I promise to continue with the adventures of Carol and KB tomorrow. My apologies, but I'm still worn out from this wonderfully busy trip. (even though I "only" put on 11,250 steps today)
to be continued...
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Start Spreadin' the News
I'm leavin' today...(well, really tomorrow)! New York, New York!
I'm getting all excited now. Kristi (KB) and I fly out tomorrow evening for NYC! What an adventure this will be. And while I really wish that Brian was going to be there to experience all of this with me, and make me feel safe(r) on the streets of the Big Apple, I know that Kristi is my ideal travel partner for this trip and that we are going to have a BLAST!
In my younger days I loved to travel and wouldn't think twice about hopping in my car alone and heading out to places unknown. Post-Dominic I became a 'little' more cautious. The older I got, the more cautious still. Then came the Big C and I seem to have tossed a little bit of that caution to the wind again. I think that's a good thing. When my time comes, it will come. A couple of people have asked me if I'm nervous about being in New York because of terrorists and muggers and all of the bad things you hear about. I'm not worried in the least. I won't be stupid and walk down dark alleys or wave $20 bills in the air. But this is such a great opportunity. I intend to embrace the city to the best of my ability. I told KB that I will give it my all and try to keep up with her. It will be energy well spent!
Happy Trails to Me/Us!
I'm getting all excited now. Kristi (KB) and I fly out tomorrow evening for NYC! What an adventure this will be. And while I really wish that Brian was going to be there to experience all of this with me, and make me feel safe(r) on the streets of the Big Apple, I know that Kristi is my ideal travel partner for this trip and that we are going to have a BLAST!
In my younger days I loved to travel and wouldn't think twice about hopping in my car alone and heading out to places unknown. Post-Dominic I became a 'little' more cautious. The older I got, the more cautious still. Then came the Big C and I seem to have tossed a little bit of that caution to the wind again. I think that's a good thing. When my time comes, it will come. A couple of people have asked me if I'm nervous about being in New York because of terrorists and muggers and all of the bad things you hear about. I'm not worried in the least. I won't be stupid and walk down dark alleys or wave $20 bills in the air. But this is such a great opportunity. I intend to embrace the city to the best of my ability. I told KB that I will give it my all and try to keep up with her. It will be energy well spent!
Happy Trails to Me/Us!
Friday, August 19, 2005
Humbling
Wow! I can't believe it has taken me all week to sit down and finally enter this blog. Wow! I can't believe what an incredible couple of days I had last weekend. Wow! I can't believe the amazing family into which I was born, and the amazing family into which I married.
Last Saturday was the 3rd annual Rally For A Cure golf outing. I am pleased to announce it was a great success. And that is, in large part, due to my family and friends. The time and effort that go into this thing is immeasurable. The love and support I feel from attending cannot be put into words. This event is not about me. But it does raise money for the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation, so I tend to personalize it a wee bit.
Going above and beyond the 'usual' wonderfulness of themselves, The Wychesit/Brusse family caught me totally off guard with their generosity. Baby Mary presented me with a heartwarming letter on Friday evening, accompanied by an envelope that contained money to sponsor a hole in my honor. I was blown away! What an unbelievable gift! I was speechless. And later, those tears I mentioned in a recent blog came to the surface. I had a great weekend, but that just put the icing on the cake.
Also, one of the silent auction items was a walking stick made by Amy's sister. It is one of the coolest pink ribbon items I have ever seen. It was made specifically for this year's Rally and came with a truly inspirational poem. I HAD to have it (sorry, Lisa) and so I kept raising the bid until it was mine. Then Julie even personalized it with my name. For now it is a work of art displayed at home. I intend to use it for the 4-mile walk at RoadAmerica in October. And one day, who knows, it may serve as my 'cane'.
As if that weren't all enough...on Monday I received some touching photos from my sister, Sue, of her children. On Friday night, and again Saturday morning, they participated in the Relay For Life. Walking, walking, walking. The pictures were of them decorating a luminary to place around the track that then burned all night long. They made me teary at my desk. And, the team they were a part of raised over $10,000 for the American Cancer Society! Fabulous! Again...a spectacular gift that couldn't be more appreciated.
I honestly am humbled by these experiences. The strength I draw from the love and support of family and friends is what sustains me, day in and day out. Money doesn't buy happiness? I don't know. All the money raised could one day be that most important dollar that is used to develop the cure! Imagine the HAPPINESS then!!
Last Saturday was the 3rd annual Rally For A Cure golf outing. I am pleased to announce it was a great success. And that is, in large part, due to my family and friends. The time and effort that go into this thing is immeasurable. The love and support I feel from attending cannot be put into words. This event is not about me. But it does raise money for the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation, so I tend to personalize it a wee bit.
Going above and beyond the 'usual' wonderfulness of themselves, The Wychesit/Brusse family caught me totally off guard with their generosity. Baby Mary presented me with a heartwarming letter on Friday evening, accompanied by an envelope that contained money to sponsor a hole in my honor. I was blown away! What an unbelievable gift! I was speechless. And later, those tears I mentioned in a recent blog came to the surface. I had a great weekend, but that just put the icing on the cake.
Also, one of the silent auction items was a walking stick made by Amy's sister. It is one of the coolest pink ribbon items I have ever seen. It was made specifically for this year's Rally and came with a truly inspirational poem. I HAD to have it (sorry, Lisa) and so I kept raising the bid until it was mine. Then Julie even personalized it with my name. For now it is a work of art displayed at home. I intend to use it for the 4-mile walk at RoadAmerica in October. And one day, who knows, it may serve as my 'cane'.
As if that weren't all enough...on Monday I received some touching photos from my sister, Sue, of her children. On Friday night, and again Saturday morning, they participated in the Relay For Life. Walking, walking, walking. The pictures were of them decorating a luminary to place around the track that then burned all night long. They made me teary at my desk. And, the team they were a part of raised over $10,000 for the American Cancer Society! Fabulous! Again...a spectacular gift that couldn't be more appreciated.
I honestly am humbled by these experiences. The strength I draw from the love and support of family and friends is what sustains me, day in and day out. Money doesn't buy happiness? I don't know. All the money raised could one day be that most important dollar that is used to develop the cure! Imagine the HAPPINESS then!!
Thursday, August 11, 2005
I'm me again!
2 hours 45 minutes (and several coins) later...my hair is back to "normal."
It's now just a little lighter than my natural color, and that will become obvious when the roots start to show. But I PROMISED my hair wizard that I won't ever attempt to color it myself again. Maybe next time she can go half a shade darker to get closer without going over. My whole purpose in coloring was to get back to my natural color so I don't have to worry about the root situation any more! (and to disguise some of those greys)
One person told me the goth look made my eyes pop. I thought the look was making everyone else's eyes pop!!
It's good to be me!
It's now just a little lighter than my natural color, and that will become obvious when the roots start to show. But I PROMISED my hair wizard that I won't ever attempt to color it myself again. Maybe next time she can go half a shade darker to get closer without going over. My whole purpose in coloring was to get back to my natural color so I don't have to worry about the root situation any more! (and to disguise some of those greys)
One person told me the goth look made my eyes pop. I thought the look was making everyone else's eyes pop!!
It's good to be me!
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
I'll do my crying in the rain
Tears are an odd phenomenon, don't you think? For example...
Yesterday morning I woke to my radio, as I do every weekday. They gave me the time, the temp, and then said "for those of you just joining us this morning, we are mourning the death of Peter Jennings." I cried. I cried and I lost all ambition to get out of bed or move or do anything that I needed to do on a Monday morning. It just hit me like a ton of bricks. The man announces he has lung cancer in April, and by August he's dead?!? I have always been impressed by Peter Jennings. His voice, his knowledge, his delivery, his compassion. He did great things with his life. Not bad for a guy who never even graduated from high school. So I cried in the shower and I cried on my (late) drive to work, and I teared up once or twice at my desk. Not just because Peter Jennings died, but because he became another damn statistic. Another awful Cancer statistic. And those statistics hit a little too close to my home and heart.
Today was a whole new tear-fest. But...these were tears from laughing so hard! Laughing at myself that is.
I did a bad, bad thing. I wanted to get back to my original hair color (dark brown for those of you who don't remember). I bought a box of stuff, mixed it up, applied, waited only 25 of the recommended 30 minutes and...voila...it turned out black! I have black hair! I've been told it looks goth, ethnic, and like an old lady trying to cover her greys (ok, that part is partially true). It's funny! It's very, very funny! I got to work and we laughed most of the morning at my misfortune. Then at noon I got it cut into a bob and my hair wizard tried to lighten it up. We'll continue that process tomorrow afternoon. The craziest part of all is the way the color took to my hair. It's very calico. Some areas are dark brown like it showed on the box and some areas are black, but all around my face is black. No, I don't have any photos. I don't think they would do it justice.
I have high hopes for my hair wizard tomorrow. Otherwise, we could be looking at tears of horror!
Yesterday morning I woke to my radio, as I do every weekday. They gave me the time, the temp, and then said "for those of you just joining us this morning, we are mourning the death of Peter Jennings." I cried. I cried and I lost all ambition to get out of bed or move or do anything that I needed to do on a Monday morning. It just hit me like a ton of bricks. The man announces he has lung cancer in April, and by August he's dead?!? I have always been impressed by Peter Jennings. His voice, his knowledge, his delivery, his compassion. He did great things with his life. Not bad for a guy who never even graduated from high school. So I cried in the shower and I cried on my (late) drive to work, and I teared up once or twice at my desk. Not just because Peter Jennings died, but because he became another damn statistic. Another awful Cancer statistic. And those statistics hit a little too close to my home and heart.
Today was a whole new tear-fest. But...these were tears from laughing so hard! Laughing at myself that is.
I did a bad, bad thing. I wanted to get back to my original hair color (dark brown for those of you who don't remember). I bought a box of stuff, mixed it up, applied, waited only 25 of the recommended 30 minutes and...voila...it turned out black! I have black hair! I've been told it looks goth, ethnic, and like an old lady trying to cover her greys (ok, that part is partially true). It's funny! It's very, very funny! I got to work and we laughed most of the morning at my misfortune. Then at noon I got it cut into a bob and my hair wizard tried to lighten it up. We'll continue that process tomorrow afternoon. The craziest part of all is the way the color took to my hair. It's very calico. Some areas are dark brown like it showed on the box and some areas are black, but all around my face is black. No, I don't have any photos. I don't think they would do it justice.
I have high hopes for my hair wizard tomorrow. Otherwise, we could be looking at tears of horror!
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Hello? Is this thing on?
Sometimes, in later conversations, I find out that someone has read my blog. They make a reference on the phone or through an email. But, I'm curious as to how many folks are actually reading this thing. Should I just be sending out emails instead? Would that promote better 'conversation'?
I remember some people saying that it was difficult to figure out how to leave a comment. Is it that tricky? I haven't tried.
I guess what I'm asking for is some feedback. Leave a comment here. Let me know if I should continue on, or switch over to emails.
To those of you 1/2 dozen or so who let me know you're reading, or who leave the occasional comment, I thank you. It makes a difference!!
I remember some people saying that it was difficult to figure out how to leave a comment. Is it that tricky? I haven't tried.
I guess what I'm asking for is some feedback. Leave a comment here. Let me know if I should continue on, or switch over to emails.
To those of you 1/2 dozen or so who let me know you're reading, or who leave the occasional comment, I thank you. It makes a difference!!
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Disappointing
So I received a reply from a woman at LiveStrong. She gave me a link to a website that directs me to various clinical trials. That's all.
Maybe I was being a little unrealistic, but I thought maybe they had professionals on staff who would look at my specific situation as described in my message and say "by golly, this woman needs to go to Clinic X and see Dr. Z!"
I will go ahead and fill out the form on the web link and see if I qualify for any of the trials. In the past, I have not. Depending on what comes up I can then decide if I want to get involved. It's a little scary to be part of a 'trial' --- but I know that it's 100% necessary if there's ever going to be a cure found.
I want to see another doctor somewhere. Get a second 2nd opinion. (my first second opinion was last Sept in Madison) I'm just not sure how to figure out where to go...
As Brian and I said last night...we're in the exact same spot we were at this time last year. That can be seen as a good thing or a bad thing, depending on the perspective of the day. At the moment, it seems like a bad thing.
Maybe I was being a little unrealistic, but I thought maybe they had professionals on staff who would look at my specific situation as described in my message and say "by golly, this woman needs to go to Clinic X and see Dr. Z!"
I will go ahead and fill out the form on the web link and see if I qualify for any of the trials. In the past, I have not. Depending on what comes up I can then decide if I want to get involved. It's a little scary to be part of a 'trial' --- but I know that it's 100% necessary if there's ever going to be a cure found.
I want to see another doctor somewhere. Get a second 2nd opinion. (my first second opinion was last Sept in Madison) I'm just not sure how to figure out where to go...
As Brian and I said last night...we're in the exact same spot we were at this time last year. That can be seen as a good thing or a bad thing, depending on the perspective of the day. At the moment, it seems like a bad thing.
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